The Lost Ring and A Best Friend

I lost my favorite ring a few days back.

I had looked for it everywhere but couldn't find it.

Today I found it lying in a corner of the room

I wasn't looking for it or thinking about it.

When I had given up on the ring, the universe brought it back to me.

It made me think of you. 

I gave up on you some days back.

And I have promised myself I won't go looking for you.

I don't want to find you again, 

In my recent messages, in my recent call list or in my life

Between the knotted stomach and the blurry vision, as I lie awake every night, 

Telling myself that I'm okay with giving up on you,

I was thinking tonight,

What if like the lost ring, I find you too again,

Some day, in some corner of the world, 

When I am not looking for you, not thinking of you, not hoping to find you?

Would it make me as happy as the ring made me today 

Or would it make me sad ?

That I should not have given up on you

But what could have I done 

I had to 

I had to give up on you 

It was between me and you

Like  it has been all those times in the past

And I had chosen you over myself every time

But for this once I could not

I chose me

I'm sorry

But I hope someday I can tell you how it broke me 

To choose myself

Someday I can tell you that although I could give up on you I could never stop loving you

I hope you're happy always forever everywhere every time all the time

I hope you forget me 

Because I wouldn't dare hope that for myself 

How can I, how can I ever forget you how does one forget their own heart.

October 27, 2017

Calcutta,India.